do you ever get into one of those situations where you’re like “I need to stop hating this particular person it’s not going to get me anywhere I’m just going to grow up and move on with my life” but then they do the tiniest thing to piss you off and then you’re like “nope fuck you right off I want to throw you off a bridge”
For those of you who don’t want to read the transcript of the oral argument in Hollingsworth v. Perry, which is all of 82 pages long, or whose heads exploded when you tried to read it, I’ve written a helpful summary. It’s available below the jump.
This summary is still fairly long, but it’s shorter and I’ve worked to make things as accessible as possible to those without legal training.
As a result, there are some places where I might have oversimplified the legal argument. My summarizing might be partially colored by my personal viewpoints, but this is basically what happened, plus or minus the aliens eating children.
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“That’s what you do with Depression, you mask the symptoms. The symptoms of Depression IS depression, it’s not a symptom of something else. It’s not like you go “oooh, I feel really sad” and then your arse falls off. The symptoms of Depression is depression. You take away the symptoms of Depression HALLOOOOO! you’re cured! But Tom [Cruise] was like “no, no, no Matt. Matt, these drugs Matt, these drugs they’re just a crutch, these drugs are just a crutch!” and I’m thinking “yes?”. THEY’RE A CRUTCH! You don’t walk up to a guy with one leg and say “hey pal, that crutch is just a crutch, THROW IT AWAY! Hop ya bastard! That crutch is masking the symptoms of your one leggedness”.”—
Craig Ferguson on Tom Cruise attacking Brooke Shields for using anti-depressants to fight Post-Partum Depression. (via themarriageofadeadblogsing)
I have always thought Craig Ferguson was a very smart man. It appears I was right.
“People say, “I’m going to sleep now,” as if it were nothing. But it’s really a bizarre activity. “For the next several hours, while the sun is gone, I’m going to become unconscious, temporarily losing command over everything I know and understand. When the sun returns, I will resume my life.” If you didn’t know what sleep was, and you had only seen it in a science fiction movie, you would think it was weird and tell all your friends about the movie you’d seen. “They had these people, you know? And they would walk around all day and be okay? And then, once a day, usually after dark, they would lie down on these special platforms and become unconscious. They would stop functioning almost completely, except deep in their minds they would have adventures and experiences that were completely impossible in real life. As they lay there, completely vulnerable to their enemies, their only movements were to occasionally shift from one position to another; or, if one of the ‘mind adventures’ got too real, they would sit up and scream and be glad they weren’t unconscious anymore. Then they would drink a lot of coffee.” So, next time you see someone sleeping, make believe you’re in a science fiction movie. And whisper, ‘The creature is regenerating itself.”—George Carlin